I have been taking a curiosity with seeing myself in the mirror lately…
Just the other night I was at a Dancing Freedom class, where an invitation was given to dance with others in the class, and to practice some contact improve or light interaction. The room is a typical dance studio, with wall-to-wall mirrors, and I found myself very curious about the being I saw. The dance is free-form, and somewhat interpretive, lending itself easily for acting “strange” or doing things I might want to do but often stop myself from doing -- like rolling around the floor and acting like a curious kitty staring at oneself in the mirror. And yet I had such a profound dance, interacting with my own reflection. To feel curiosity about oneself, and looking into my own eyes, seeking to see myself better and to understand who she really is… is a very special thing. I definitely found it to be an intimacy building practice, with myself. It was an opportunity to gaze into my own eyes, as I might gaze into the eyes of another, who I seek to understand better… to receive some wisdom from the presence of their eyes. Well, I found this wisdom within myself. The opportunity to gaze at myself and love myself and see myself for just a couple minutes, is a practice I am definitely aiming to engage more often.
And last night, as I walked into my bathroom… I was again caught by curiosity at my own imagine in the mirror. I was definitely what I would call disheveled, with my hair all over the place and tired eyes yearning to sleep. “But damn”, I thought… “I look beautiful! What a beautiful mess I am. I want to capture this image.” And after taking more selfies than I care to admit, I was thoroughly disappointed. The light, the composition, the angle… none of it could capture what I was seeing as Me. I knew that the photos were not nearly as beautiful as the image I was seeing when I when I looked directly into the mirror.
“True beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and pictures cannot often capture
what the heart sees.” – Mischa Skolnik
In some ways, it is a pity that I couldn’t capture the image I wanted. In the cyber-age we live in, selfies are definitely a thing. A good selfie, is a great confidence boost. And I believe there is empowerment in the vanity of a good #selfie. But a much greater empowerment came through my mirror playtime. I was able to do something that felt creative in the moment, I was able to engage again with the practice of building intimacy with myself, and the photo sesh inspired this post – which is yet another way to express myself and share the lessons I am learning.
As much as I love to show off a good selfie on Facebook, and stroke my ego… the wisdom here is that a picture isn’t always worth a thousand words. So often, I have doubted my own beauty. I have wished for someone else’s clear skin, someone else’s sexy butt, and fallen into the trap of comparison and self-loathing that raises questions of self-worth and lowers self-esteem. It is a common story amongst women, and one that I, and many others, are learning to release from our brain’s conditioning. I know I am making progress in awakening to my True Self, when I stop to notice my own beauty the way I did last night.
Every time we see ourselves exactly as we are, and embrace that… we are making huge strides for improving our self-confidence and coming into greater wholeness. I believe it is something worth noting, and definitely something worth playing with – this curiosity into who we really are, and welcoming that person with compassion. Anything we can do, to show us our own true beauty, and to inspire Love for ourselves is a great accomplishment for the human mind. The heart already knows our own beauty, but the mind has been trained to overpower it.
I would call this one, a win for the Heart <3